Thursday, April 7, 2011

The Squirrel Lobby

This is a crazy week in DC.  No, not because of the looming threat of government shut down (I've been deemed "non-essential" and will be asked to not come into work on Monday if Congress doesn't get it's act together).

Picture stolen from WaPo
This week evil has won.  The Dark Side is nigh.  The squirrel lobby has the media in its fuzzy, mangy pocket.  In other words, the Washington Post has declared it DC Squirrel Week.

On the Q&A Page columnist John Kelly explains:
Well, the original inspiration was a story I did last month. I received so many responses to the column on squirrels I suspected there was a deep, untapped reservoir of squirrel love (and hate) out there. Plus, we have one of the world's leading squirrel experts right here, the Smithsonian's Richard Thorington. Discovery has Shark Week. We have Squirrel Week.
My disdain for this creature is well-documented.  With a "squirrel density of approximately 12.5 squirrels per acre--one of the highest densities ever recorded" the squirrel lobby has gotten far too strong in this city.  But as they say, keep your friends close and your enemies closer.  So in honor of Squirrel Week I am working on this:
Squirrelly Swedish Mittens by Elli Stubenrauch
 Right where I can keep an eye on them.
And because I am super impressed with my progress, look at how much it grew over the weekend:
Before Indiana
After Indiana.  This doesn't seem like a lot of progress except that I am a slow knitter and this is only my second Faire Isle project (first one with tiny yarn and tiny needles)
 That said, here are some of my favorites from squirrel week:

Q: Is it true that squirrels are Satan's minions and thus cannot be harmed by worldly weapons? Besides automobiles, they don't seem to have any predators. Who can I hire to exorcise these beasts as I can't drive my car on my patio?
A. John Kelly : I think if you told a squirrel he had no predators he'd laugh in your face--then bite it. Dogs, cats, snakes, neighborhood kids training to be serial killers. Also, I was walking my dog and watched a raptor swoop down at a squirrel. Almost got it too, except that my dog had startled the squirrel. That was on ticked off hawk.
Q:  Is it legal to hunt and eat squirrels in the District?
A. Richard Thorington : Not since 1906.

What happened in 1906 to cause this total reversal in policy?  Also, I'm not condoning animal cruelty, but:

See also:
I would never condone putting clothing on an animal, but this is almost worth it.  From
Oh evil squirrels....

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