Monday, February 28, 2011

BISO Update: February

It's the last day of February; it still counts if I do a February BISIO Update on the last day, right?

Grad School:  Basically, the big news is that I was accepted at ALL of the programs I applied to and am going to....EMORY for a joint degree in law and public health!  What made me turn down Georgetown, you ask?  I won the Woodruff Fellowship at the Law School after a harrowing (that's such a was a lot of fun) three-day interview.  The interview consisted of meals with former Fellows, with faculty and staff, and with current students, a tour of the Coca-Cola World Headquarters, a cocktail reception (slash, secret social vetting process to make sure that we wouldn't be painfully awkward representatives of Emory and/or drink too much in public) and an interview with a distinguished panel of professors and Atlanta lawyers.
We toured the Coca-Cola Headquarters because Robert Woodruff was the head of Coke for 20+ years and was a HUGE philanthropist in the Atlanta area.  When he died, he left a large gift to Emory, endowing professorships and scholarships; half the buildings on campus are named after him.  This picture was taken before they gave us each a bottle of coke to drink as we walked around the building.  Tasty, tasty indoctrination...
There were 14 of us; 4 of us ended up winning the full-ride fellowship.  I am going to law school for FREE!!!  It is still a little hard to believe.  I am waiting for someone to jump out of a bush yelling, "haha, psych!"  In fact, I have been avoiding bushes all month until I get my official package in the mail.

Sheep to Sweater:  I have been failing at knitting lately.  I have finished only two projects in two months as spinning, fundraising and trying to finish my library books before they are overdue (failed at that one, too) got in the way...however, I am pleased to announce that I bought a sweater quantity of yarn (it was on sale...I feel more comfortable knowing I am not going to spend a ridiculous amount of money on my first sweater) and am going to make this sweater.
Grown-Up Hoodie by Kira Dulaney  I'm hoping the pattern comes with free pink hair streaks...

I think it is pretty cute and doesn't look TOO hard....The cabling down the back makes me think it will keep me entertained enough (rather than miles and miles of stockinette) to actually finish the thing.

Doula:  Nothing awesome to report this month.  I had taken time off to do the Vagina Monologues, but I am planning my trip to Boston this summer for the DONA International Conference.  Will get to learn new things, hang out with cool doulas, and visit Boston for the first time as an adult.  Excited!!!

March looks (moderately) less hectic.  No more traveling until April.  No more crazy fundraising.  Free time?  Probably not as much as I think, but perhaps....

Sunday, February 27, 2011

Special Chocolates

First of all, winner of the giveaway I announced last Thursday is Amanda who said "Holler.  I want to pretend to be a grownup!"  I will be in touch about your prize shortly.  Thanks to UPrinting for sponsoring this giveaway.

Second, congratulations to the cast and crew of The DC Vagina Monologues!!!  You all were friggin' amazing!  We raised over $10,000 for the DC Rape Crisis Center and had a great time doing it!  You can still make donations at if you would like to support our efforts!

One of the ways we raised money was through the sale of fun vagina-related products, including vagina pillows, jewelry made by the cast, and chocolate vaginas.

Yup, chocolate vaginas.

My friend Rachel's awesome parents own a chocolate shop called The Purple Feather in Providencetown, MA.  They donated enough chocolate, lollipop sticks and packaging for us to make 200+ "pussy pops" to sell at the show.  My house once again became a workshop for adult craft-making.

The Purple Feather also sent us the molds we needed to make the pussy pops.
We melted the chocolate and poured it into the molds.
We let the molds cool and then popped the suckers out.
Don't they look tasty?
We bagged them up.
And made them pretty for the sale at the show.
This is Rachel showing off one of her fancy creations.
We sold all 200 of them.  But don't be sad.  The Purple Feather has offered to donated 10% of their internet sales between now and April to the DC Rape Crisis Center.  They sell pussy pops, but also other, less risque things, like fudge and Easter candy.  Check them out at and support a great cause and an awesome small business.


Thursday, February 24, 2011

Free Give Away

Hey everyone!  I know you are just DYING for some more info on all the awesome Vagina Monologue-related goodness this week, but first I have a lovely surprise for you!  I have the opportunity to give away (drumroll please!!!).....
250 Die-Cut Business Cards for One (1) Winner from online printing company UPrinting

Check them out! 1.75” x 3.5”, 2” x 3.5”, or 2” x 2”; 2.5” Diameter business cards on 14pt Cardstock Gloss / Matte / High Gloss (UV), or 13pt Cardstock Uncoated.  Front Only or Front and Back printing.

Awesome right?  Basically, comment on this post by noon on Sunday, February 27th (include your name and email address/other way for me to get a hold of you), and I will use the random number generator to choose a winner that night.  You will need to get back to me quickly if I contact you as a winner so that I can get you your prize.

Only restrictions: Limited to US residents 18 years old and above only.  This is UPrinting's giveaway and they have the right to change up the rules whenever they feel like it.  So do I.  Also, FTC requires me to tell you that I will also be getting some free busines cards from UPrinting for hosting this giveaway, but you get free stuff, too, so we all win.

Good luck!

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

How to Make a Vagina Pillow

Two years ago I started making vagina pillows to sell at The DC Vagina Monologues (buy your tickets now for the show this Friday and Saturday!!).  I got my inspiration from this and if you don't mind a less fancy one, they take very little skill to make.  Here's how to do a really basic one:

Get some craft/wrapping paper.  I use the stuff that amazon packs their shipments with.

Fold the paper in half and draw and cut out a half-circle.  When you open it up, it will be a symmetrical circle/oval shape.  I like a big fat vajayjay but a narrow one will work, too.

You will need two colors of fabric.  With the first (I use a darker one), cut out one full circle.

Fold your circle pattern back in half and cut out two half-circles out of the first fabric.

Cut two half-circles out of your second fabric.

Line the fabric1 half-circles up with the fabric1full circle.  Sew all the way around the edges.

Line the flat edges of fabric1 with the flat edges of fabric2, right sides together.  Sew along the straight line.

If you want, you can place lace between the two flat sides of fabric1 and fabric2 before you sew them together.
Line up the two curved edges of fabric2, right sides together, and sew almost all the way across, leaving a small opening.  You will have an inside-out pillow case.  Turn it right-side-out through the remaining opening.  Stuff the pillow.  Sew the opening closed.

Optional: I sewed the fabric2 lining down to look like a vaginal opening.  You could add a clit or whatever else you want at this stage.

You can make different sizes by making your pattern bigger or smaller.

Using different fabrics can give different effects.

Monday, February 21, 2011

The Poonani Projects

I am totally going to regret this post one day when I run for public office/my future children google my name and "poonani" is the first ting to come up, but......

My room is a crazy arts and crafts studio on a good day, but lately has taken on the air of a workshop run by a bunch of vaguely odd, feminist elves who make not Christmas presents but instead yonic trophies for the slightly more courageous gift-giver.

And by elves, I mean the cast and crew of the 2011 Vagina Monologues in DC.  We have been making jewelry, pillows and other items to sell at our show.  All proceeds, as with the ticket sales, go to the DC Rape Crisis Center, a favorite organization of mine.

As the crafters showed up, they were offered the option to make greeting cards, pillows or jewelry.  All were a little timid at first, but after getting used to the idea of making Coochi Crafts, they got real talented real quick.
There were VA earrings.
Peepee, poopalu, and piche pillows
Vajayjay jewelry
Hooha heart necklaces (see how they used my disaster hearts to making something beautiful?!?!)
Labia lapel pins.
And nappy dugout (yea, I said it) greeting cards.
I warn you now: there will be vagina-related goodness all week in honor of our shows happening this weekend (buy your tickets now!!).  There will be a tutorial on how to make the pillows, the vagina pendants, chocolate vaginas (yes, edible, yonic goodness), and more.  You (and my future political opponents) can thank me later.

Thursday, February 17, 2011

The Impossible Photograph

Julie's bday was in January.  Like, early January so early in January it was actually in December.  I finished making these legwarmers for her today.
My own "pattern."  Seed stitch, ribbing, knit flat then seemed.

Today, as in, half way through February.
Weird angle...

And seeing as I am the one wearing them in these disembodied leg pictures....
My mirror is really dirty....

Julie still hasn't received her gift.  Although I did also give her one of these (it was called something dirtier on the packaging, though).
What am I doing in this picture?!?!
 And if you haven't noticed, it is absolutely impossible to take a picture of your own legs without them looking stumpy (or you looking insane).
In the air?
On the door?

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Broken/Felted Hearts

Remember these that I was knitting?

I ended up knitting 26 of them.  They were supposed to be felted and sewn together to look like this:
picture and pattern from Mochimochi Land

So without paying much attention to what I was doing (I was sick, give me a little break) I put them in the washing machine.  And the washing/felting process turned them into this:

A big pile of vaguely heart-shaped mush.

I pulled a few of them off the mess.

A.K.A a huge friggin' knitting failure....
I might still be crying over my lack of knit Valentines this year.  Sniff...

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Emails Only Knitters Get

I got an email from my roommie apologizing that he had gone in my room, but I had left my yarn in the shower and he wanted to return it to me.  He, of course, hung it in my closet where it belongs.  Initially I felt bad that I had inconvenienced my roommate by adding a step to his morning routine.  And then I stopped, reread the email and considered writing him a thank you note for not ending his email with "you are a crazy, crazy lady with too much wool and why do you keep yarn in the shower/closet anyway, you wacko mishugenah?!?!"

The answer is that I finished spinning the (boring) brown two-ply this weekend (about 250 yards, fingering-ish weight).
It was boring to spin, but actually I like the way it turned out.  It's fluffy and not over-plied.
I let it soak, had given it a good spin in the shower to get some of the water out, and then hung it in my closet to dry.  Five minutes later I heard a disturbing people-can-lick-too-my-friend dripping noise coming from my closet and discovered that I had not, in fact gotten all the water out.  Instead of going ALL THE WAY downstairs to the washing machine to spin it dry, I just hung it in the shower to drip dry.  And apparently GNP did not want a wool loofah this morning (oh gosh, doesn't a wool loofah sound amazing?!?!).  Oops...

Now I am working on this pile of what looks suspiciously like dryer lint.  (Side note: I seriously considered trying to spin dryer lint, but it isn't sticky enough....maybe if I am ever in a desperate situation...don't judge...).

I swear it is NOT lint and actually 10 ounces of wonderfully springy Merino that looks a little less crazy when spun....I think....

I am going to try another two-ply, but with fatter singles this time (making it closer to a worsted), assuming my spindle doesn't fall apart (again).

Sunday, February 13, 2011

I'm Bananas For Valentine's Day

Happy Valentine's Day!

I've got my red on, my Valentine's delivered and my red food packed and ready for what can only be described as THE BEST HOLIDAY EVER!!!

Granted, the day would be about a thousand times better if we had the day off, but I feel that way about my birthday and St. Patty's Day as well...But to celebrate this illustrious day of red and chocolate, I hosted the 24th Annual Red Meal!  This year was potluck style with competitions for best use of red ingredients and best use of hearts.  My "Have a Heart Pop Tarts" were beaten out for the best use of hearts (they were heart-shaped with strawberry and nutella filling...mmmmm) by Jerry with his "Commie Soup" (so named because it was "red") which had, I kid you not, heart-shaped vegetables floating in it.

I also forced everyone to make "disgruntled Valentines."  My favorite, you ask?
Oh, someecards, how I love you.
The Washington Post is also running a series of "DC Valentines" that I also heart.
See more here
I also appreciated Devon's creation based on these:
These stickers make eating fruit totally worth it (and make my banana look slightly less forlorn).  I have crafty, amazing friends.
Happy Valentine's Day!!!

Monday, February 7, 2011

Math Problem

If I can knit a heart in twenty minutes and I have a flight to Detroit, a whole superbowl game, random driving around rural Michigan, and a flight back to Baltimore again, how many of these little guys do I have in my purse?

Oh wait, here's another: if I fly on an airplane, what is the probability of me catching a ridiculously bad cold? If you guessed 100%, you win.
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Sunday, February 6, 2011

Traveling (and Knitting) This Week

Sorry to be light on posts this week. In Michigan Sunday and Monday and Atlanta Thursday, Friday, and Saturday.

People in the Baltimore airport stare at me as I knit more hearts to felt for Valentine's Day....
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Tuesday, February 1, 2011

More Knitting Inspiration

How to Knit Marzipan by Vegan Yum Yum
Crocheted hat by Jessica's Jacket on Etsy
Sandra Buckland via Venus Art.  This woman is amazing!  Look at this clothing she sculpts!
Knitted Cupcakes via the Worsted Witch
Heart and lungs via Retox Mag