Sq*****l Appreciation Day

Today is the Appreciation Day for those evil creatures who shall not be named.  Need to know how to celebrate?




From the Washington Post.

Tips on how to celebrate from the National Wildlife Federation.

A photoshop competition from the Huff Post.

And some helpful factoids from Mother Nature Network.

More on Squirrels and Knitting

I like to give you regular updates** on squirrels and knitting.  Mostly because there is an on-going feud between me and those foul creatures (see this and this), and because a lot of other people really seem to like to knit squirrels.

Like look at this dude from CraftGossip.com (looks like they even had a competition to make one...I missed it)

This is a conversation that happened today:

Me:  I think they should should do an episode with me and squirrels:
http://jezebel.com/5863026/meet-the-poor-lady-scared-to-death-of-kittens

Friend:  That would be frightening. If kittens are the devils pet, what does that make squirrels?

Me:  The devil incarnate

From thedailygreen.com  This one scares the bejesus out of me (mostly because it was identified as a knit squirrel when it is almost certainly crochet...or am I wrong?)

There used to be saber-toothed squirrels:  http://www.csmonitor.com/Science/2011/1103/Saber-toothed-squirrel-from-age-of-dinosaurs-discovered

The reason squirrels freak me out is because they have personalities.  And apparently knitting circles.

And this is a really lucky squirrel.



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**update:  After posting this, MattC sent me this link to Squirrel Chips.  I do not condone violence against squirrels, but I'm told they taste like "sweet victory."  Good to know your culinary options.

Was also given this lovely link to a recent Flying Squirrel Invasion.  Now squirrels are even preventing people from seeking medical attention....  

On My Needles: Squirrel Update

Barking Squirrel

After my last squirrel rant, people were so kind as to send me more evidence of the evil of squirrels via the Onion.

The squirrels in my own world are less vicious, but way stranger.  They have been leaving plastic bags of bagels on the front porch.  Every time we throw one away, they bring another one.  They have been barking at me lately, too.  Anyone have any idea what this is about?

While I try to figure out this mystery, I've been working on my woolen squirrels.

I finished one.

I think it is pretty sexy

They are a little narrow....I should have used slightly bigger needles.

But I really do love them so...

Hope the squirrels in my front yard don't get jealous.

The Squirrel Lobby

This is a crazy week in DC.  No, not because of the looming threat of government shut down (I've been deemed "non-essential" and will be asked to not come into work on Monday if Congress doesn't get it's act together).

Picture stolen from WaPo

This week evil has won.  The Dark Side is nigh.  The squirrel lobby has the media in its fuzzy, mangy pocket.  In other words, the Washington Post has declared it DC Squirrel Week.

On the Q&A Page columnist John Kelly explains:

Well, the original inspiration was a story I did last month. I received so many responses to the column on squirrels I suspected there was a deep, untapped reservoir of squirrel love (and hate) out there. Plus, we have one of the world's leading squirrel experts right here, the Smithsonian's Richard Thorington. Discovery has Shark Week. We have Squirrel Week.

 

My disdain for this creature is well-documented.  With a "squirrel density of approximately 12.5 squirrels per acre--one of the highest densities ever recorded" the squirrel lobby has gotten far too strong in this city.  But as they say, keep your friends close and your enemies closer.  So in honor of Squirrel Week I am working on this:

Squirrelly Swedish Mittens by Elli Stubenrauch

 Right where I can keep an eye on them.

 

And because I am super impressed with my progress, look at how much it grew over the weekend:

Before Indiana

After Indiana.  This doesn't seem like a lot of progress except that I am a slow knitter and this is only my second Faire Isle project (first one with tiny yarn and tiny needles)

 That said, here are some of my favorites from squirrel week:

Q: Is it true that squirrels are Satan's minions and thus cannot be harmed by worldly weapons? Besides automobiles, they don't seem to have any predators. Who can I hire to exorcise these beasts as I can't drive my car on my patio?

A. John Kelly : I think if you told a squirrel he had no predators he'd laugh in your face--then bite it. Dogs, cats, snakes, neighborhood kids training to be serial killers. Also, I was walking my dog and watched a raptor swoop down at a squirrel. Almost got it too, except that my dog had startled the squirrel. That was on ticked off hawk.

Q:  Is it legal to hunt and eat squirrels in the District?

A. Richard Thorington : Not since 1906.

What happened in 1906 to cause this total reversal in policy?  Also, I'm not condoning animal cruelty, but: http://youtu.be/q6moWSYao1g

See also:

I would never condone putting clothing on an animal, but this is almost worth it.  From http://www.sugarbushsquirrel.com/

Oh evil squirrels....

Squirrels

I have an ongoing feud with squirrels.  Once at my friend Mandy's house, she and I were watching a squirrel who was just hanging out on the other side of the sliding screen door.  Mind you, we were just WATCHING the squirrel, not harassing or taunting it.  All of the sudden, the squirrel LEAPS into the air, attaches itself to the screen, bares its teeth, shakes its head and cusses at us loudly in squirrel-speak.  Scared the friggin' bejesus out of us.

My little sister tells a story of how a squirrel ran at her friend, climbed up his leg, across his arm and bit his hand.  If that isn't evil, then what the heck is?

Once, at AU, I was sitting on a bench, eating a boxed lunch, minding my own business, when an AU patented Black Ninja Squirrel (I think they breed them there special to be college-student resistant) leaped from a tree, 50-yard-dashed over to my bench, vaulted up, wrapped his greedy little arms around my ham sandwich and made a dash for it Mission Impossible style.  What the heck, folks!?!?!

UPDATE:  A friend sent me this story of truly ridiculous squirrel antics:

getting ready for a run one day I went to go to the bathroom, lifted the lid to the toilet, and there was a squirrel, butt stuck down the hole, front paws paddling furiously to keep his mouth above water, brown stuff (shit perhaps) all around.  I went and told my Dad there was a squirrel in the toilet, he sort of ignored me, so i tapped his shoulder and told him to come to the bathroom.  We used a garden shovel to get him out, put him in a plastic garbage bag and had to take him outside (there had been a squirrel in the basement a few years before who had wreaked some serious havoc and my mom didn't want to take any chances) After drying him off the best we could with a hair dryer and a towel, we released him back to the happy land of trees outside and headed out on our run.

I asked the obvious question about how the squirrel had gotten into the toilet in the first place (a bad prank gone wrong?  Squirrel refused to go au natural outside?).  She says they think he climbed down the vent in the roof and that he swam down the pipes into the toilet (she said they had a hard time flushing the toilet for a while before he showed up...I should say so....).  She said she experienced some mild trauma from the experience, refusing to use that toilet for a long time afterward.  Oh, man, the squirrels are coming to get us, making even our more sacred house hold appliances sinister!!!

Now I've got this knitted Squirrel on Wheels (from Knitting Mochimochi...aka best book ever) rolling around my bedroom making a nuisance of herself.

Sneaking into my closet to try on some boots. 

Scampering across my bed to wake me up when I'm trying to nap...creepy right?

 Yea, look at me as if I'm crazy, but I don't seem to be the only to feel this way about squirrels.  Stephanie Pearl-McPhee, one of my favorite knitters/bloggers also has this issue.  In a recent post she was talking about squirrels that had broken into her attic to rummage through her personal affects and noted:

"This surprised me less than it would someone who does not have a longstanding antagonistic relationship with squirrels."

I agree, Ms. Pearl-McPhee.  Not surprising at all coming from sneaky little rodents.

Some people aren't so convinced of squirrels' conniving natures.  Lion Brand Studios even seems to have a pair of studio squirrels.  And my mother tells the story of her brothers' pet squirrel that they carried in a parade (on a litter, no less) as kids.   I think this is bizarre behavior, even for small children.

See, they steal your heart.  But watch out, next they will steal your lunch....