Tuesday, January 20, 2015

Two Girl Brides

For those of you who are not stalking me on Facebook, you may not have heard the news: I’m engaged.  For those of you who REALLY have been out of the loop on my life, I’m engaged to the woman I’ve been dating for a year, have graduated from my JD/MPH, decided to stay in Georgia, and am currently studying for the Georgia Bar Exam.  Now you are all caught up.

But I wanted to talk about the whole marriage to a woman in Georgia while studying for the Bar Exam thing.  I got engaged last Friday.  There was yarn involved in the proposal (more on that later).  Fiancé made me promise not to do any wedding planning until after the Bar Exam (February 24 and 25...if anyone else is counting, that is less than 5 weeks away).

So, of course, I immediately started googling wedding-related things.  What I noticed right off the bat is that there are a lot of guides for brides: traditional, practical, DIY, fancy, laid-back.  But no one has really put together a guide-book for “How to Hold a Wedding Where There are Two Brides, Three Sets of Parents, In a Conservative State That May Or May Not Be Forced By the Supreme Court to Recognize Your Marriage By the Time You Get Hitched.”  

“The Knot” is downright infuriating.  It allows me to choose “Bride Marrying a Bride” and "Same-Sex" as the theme (ha!) in the settings, and then proceeds to still call my Bride a “Groom” in the budget, schedule, registry, etc.  As far as I can tell, Ms. Manners has yet to answer the question of whether both brides attend the bridal shower (and do the senior ladies still explain to the blushing brides what happens on your wedding night?  Do they even know?).  And why do all the Bride-And-Bride cake toppers seem to have both brides wearing dresses?

There are some things out there.  TwoBrides.com and GayWeddings.com are the most comprehensive but they just aren’t calming/helpful/comprehensive in the way I would like.  And they are kind of old school.  And OMG weddings with two men have a lot of different issues than weddings with two women.

I haven’t been good at keeping up the blog in the last couple years.  And I can’t promise that I will now.  But I think I might start using this space to figure out how this whole two-bride thing works in the age of Supreme Court decisions, Pride, and the wedding industrial complex.

Also, there will be yarn.  I promise.  There will always be yarn.


  1. This website is pretty cool: http://offbeatbride.com/ Not sure if it will have everything you're looking for, but it's a start!

  2. Thanks, Ashely! I have also found equallywed.com!